UPSB v4
Serious Discussion / So I Started Self harming
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:11:20
I always wondered wtf was up with people that did this. Now I am doing it. =/ It's more addictive than when I took up smoking (have been quit for a while now). Strange how the mind works.
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:20:35
Out of depression or just boredom?
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:21:49
I never ever get bored. Most of my 'idle time' is spent working on various things. I never really understand how anyone gets bored.
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:23:32
Not necessarily out of pure boredom, but maybe "lack of excitement" is a better way of phrasing it not like "man i'm bored right now", but just a general feeling of restlessness
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:25:09
hm...you don't feel anything when you cut urself? does it feel good when you place a blade on ur hand?!
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 03:46:47
GeeGeeGee wrote: hm...you don't feel anything when you cut urself? does it feel good when you place a blade on ur hand?!
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 04:12:01
What's the prob? :o
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 04:15:19
Forever busy, forever improving. Forever miserable? I don't know. But It's addictive.
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 04:50:38
Attention? Inability to deal with psychological problems and turning to physical pain to drown it out? Stimulation of dopamine from the pain + a history of addiction?
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 05:04:30
I understand where you are coming from. I kinda dealt with depression too read about people cutting themselves but never tried it. Honestly sports and music have really helped me realize some stuff and change a lot of things about me. Engage yourself in other activities and have some people to talk to and stuff. When I was depressed 4chan really helped me through it, not joking here. Trolling, laughing at shit, porn really helped me through it. Instead of cutting to deal with depression I found myself being addicted to porn to deal with it (thank 4chan) just get out, get fresh air, play sports, hang out with friends, also smoking weed might help.
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 05:10:09
I just feel I will never be happy. However, a psychologist has diagnosed me as autistic and there have been suggestions I could suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. However, in the absence of regular hallucinogens, this seems to help. I refuse to take these crazy pharms they give people. They sound scary.
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Date: Sat, Dec 10 2011 06:53:11
What kind of self-harm, exactly?
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Date: Sun, Dec 11 2011 12:21:01
gym is better, you're also inflicting pain to yourself, but it feels good since you get stronger and stronger
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Date: Tue, Dec 13 2011 04:08:41
I feel that a clinical psychologist would be the only one capable of helping you, Mats. I mean that in the sincerest way possible.
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Date: Tue, Dec 13 2011 23:46:20
I know that feel Mats.
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Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 00:10:32
Mats wrote: I just feel I will never be happy. However, a psychologist has diagnosed me as autistic and there have been suggestions I could suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. However, in the absence of regular hallucinogens, this seems to help. I refuse to take these crazy pharms they give people. They sound scary.
[LIST=1] [*]People don't realize that happiness is not a destination: it's a journey. You don't wake up one day all of a sudden as though you were fired out of the cheery cannon. If you do suffer from any psychiatric issue, it takes due dilligence to combat said disorder. [*]Bipolar disorder doesn't come with hallucinations. It has more to do with severe and sudden mood changes: extreme happiness to suicidal depression in minutes. Are you sure that you weren't talking about Schizophrenia? [*]I can tell you right now that remeron saved my life. I was in quite an ugly place until I found the right medication for me. You can be surprised at what a few milligrams of something and a psychiatrist can do for you. [/LIST] -
Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 00:35:35
Clyde wrote: gym is better, you're also inflicting pain to yourself, but it feels good since you get stronger and stronger
This is actually a legitimately insightful post. Use the way you feel in a constructive instead of destructive way. -
Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 00:53:41
yep, the previous posts really help. the internet really helped me, like TheAafg said, I laughed at shit from like memebase and shit and it really gets your mind off things. exercising seems a whole lot better than my method of coping with it, I ate whatever I saw LOL. I stopped caring about my appearance :P and as a girl, that's really abnormal. To become happy, you really have to tell yourself you're gonna be happy. It's really more of a self-relationship kind of thing. If you keep telling yourself you'll never be happy, you'll really never be happy.
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Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 01:24:59
maybe you need a goal or purpose in life? i dunno. here this helped me haha: [video=youtube;z659HhbLWqI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z659HhbLWqI[/video]
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Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 21:09:42
Xero wrote: [LIST=1] [*]Bipolar disorder doesn't come with hallucinations. It has more to do with severe and sudden mood changes: extreme happiness to suicidal depression in minutes. Are you sure that you weren't talking about Schizophrenia? [/LIST]
I think he was talking more about hallucinogenic drugs. -
Date: Wed, Dec 14 2011 21:28:26
how are you hurting yourself? the traditional cutting your wrist or something else? and i think that people hurt themselves because they do not want to feel the sadness that they are in, pain gives them something else to think about other than sadness.
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Date: Fri, Dec 16 2011 09:07:27
strat1227 wrote: This is actually a legitimately insightful post. Use the way you feel in a constructive instead of destructive way.
yeah I've seen a lot of posts from previously sad people that gym turned them optimistic, happier, etc -
Date: Fri, Dec 23 2011 20:24:14
Dear Mats, you are, from the standpoint of evolution, a defective product. Your life-supporting biological imperatives and sociocultural upbringing have failed you, leaving a mere shell—a vassal to Satan's distorted will—in the place of a healthy individual. In the interest of your species, in the self-denying hope of a better tomorrow, in the only meaningful act you have left to commit, in considering the greater good of your species, you must immediately end your life. It pains me to inform you of this as it would pain a loving father to discipline his wayward son, but it is my sacred duty, which by the the gods compels me to speak to you thus: Hasten-ye sin-soaked MAN encumbered! Quick with BODKIN boding terrible By baleful howl hung on heaven, In burdening flames of Eden's providence, Hasten-ye SON of serpent's venture! Toward that END, oh SOLEMN creature: Take thy life as GOD commands!
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Date: Fri, Dec 23 2011 20:38:08
Surge wrote: Dear Mats, you are, from the standpoint of evolution, a defective product. Your life-supporting biological imperatives and sociocultural upbringing have failed you, leaving a mere shell—a vassal to Satan's distorted will—in the place of a healthy individual. In the interest of your species, in the self-denying hope of a better tomorrow, in the only meaningful act you have left to commit, in considering the greater good of your species, you must immediately end your life. It pains me to inform you of this as it would pain a loving father to discipline his wayward son, but it is my sacred duty, which by the the gods compels me to speak to you thus: Hasten-ye sin-soaked MAN encumbered! Quick with BODKIN boding terrible By baleful howl hung on heaven, In burdening flames of Eden's providence, Hasten-ye SON of serpent's venture! Toward that END, oh SOLEMN creature: Take thy life as GOD commands!
once again a epic post from surge -
Date: Fri, Dec 23 2011 22:14:14
I used to do this a while back as a way of dealing with my own depression. It wasn't like the stereotypical "emo" mindset of like "I'm a piece of shit who'll never amount to anything" or something like "I need to cut myself so that I know i'm alive", it was more of a way to distract myself from everything else I was dealing with. I'm not going to say that it's bad, but I will say be careful, or try to find something else to deal with it.
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Date: Fri, Dec 30 2011 06:41:07
I thought my life would be much better after my high school exam and me going to college, but if possible it just took a turn for the worse. Now I'm in a moderately placid mood, but once the depression starts sinking in or something goes wrong, I'll rage and sit in a corner in the dark contemplating suicide for hours on end. Now and then I'll nip down to the kitchen and take a sip of Mountain Dew to drown my sorrows.
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Date: Sat, Feb 4 2012 02:45:15
I'm just going to say that suicide and self-harm are unnecessary, and, in general, I guess you could say life was pointless, which I believe, but still, you might as well live, because living is actually entertaining, rather than being completely incapable of thought. Also I guess you could get a religion, which gives you a purpose, I guess? I don't know; I'm agnostic.
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Date: Sun, Feb 12 2012 07:25:03
i have Serious depression issues. when it gets really bad, i cut the bottoms of my feet so no one notices, but i still get the adrenaline rush. since feet are a very dangerous place to cut, i take time to make sure the blade is clean, and i immediately disinfect the wound and bandage it. Still, pain can be addictive.
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Date: Sun, Feb 12 2012 07:50:46
Why don't you fuckers take up drugs or booze or something instead of cutting yourself like fucking bitches.
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Date: Sun, Feb 12 2012 08:06:35
@Mats Bro, it's okay if you find it pleasurable to umm.. slash your wrists or do stuff like that but just make sure you don't go too far as to lose your life. If you can't take it anymore then just think about your friends or family or both. :phew:
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Date: Mon, Feb 13 2012 10:58:13
@Vassenato that usually causes more damage than cutting... i would rather be crippled in body than corrupt in mind...
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Date: Mon, Feb 20 2012 05:21:57
God...why did I read this whole thread...no i'm sad and feel really bad for you guys...
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Date: Sun, Feb 26 2012 22:11:26
you really shouldnt. i actually just started again today, but not on my feet anymore but now on my arms. fuck the world, i don't care how they label me. Edit: someone who seems to care an aweful lot about me begged me to stop, so hell, i guess im back to not cutting my arms to bits.
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Date: Sat, Mar 31 2012 16:46:06
yeah, you probably are depressed
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Date: Sat, Mar 31 2012 17:06:12
pick up smoking instead, its manlier.
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Date: Sun, Apr 1 2012 04:48:10
Mann, live your life to be as awesome as possible, you can't be awesome if you're dead.
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Date: Thu, May 10 2012 01:05:56
I used to feel like this way, but I never got to the point to where I wanted to cut myself or harm myself. Something I did was basically: 1. QQ for attention 2. Make a couple sincere and legitimate friends 3. Accept the fact I will never be as good as someone else in one thing, but maybe be better at everyone else in another thing (I found that I am really good at learning a skill quickly) 4. Meet people, make more friends and hang out 5. Talk to others when I are feeling down, but never tell them, and let the communication make me feel better I decided myself that doing any kind of stupid shit would make me lose all of my friends and eventually kill myself You should stop cutting yourself Mat, and start finding some people to do fun stuff with
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Date: Mon, Jun 18 2012 21:16:39
Ive suffered from bad depression after my grandmother died and my friend killed himself. I have found happiness in 4chan and pen spinning (although its limited and temporary) lately I have just been living life and not worrying what people think of me.
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Date: Mon, Jun 18 2012 22:19:28
It oddly enough can be a long term solution. I kicked myself out of the habit with the distraction I found through PS, everyone has their own reason to escape and everyone has their own methods. Where IMO, self harm is a legit way of getting through stuff assuming you don't overdo it and get yourself seriously damaged, it causes too much fear from others that you'll do just that, nobody understands it until they start and even then it's so hard to figure out what drove you over the edge in the first place and why it is you've turned to something so weird to help yourself. Either way, looking at it from an outsider's point of view like a friend or family member, unless you've been there, it just looks like the person is crazy and suicidal and they panic because they don't want to lose them, from here, people blow things way out of proportion and often make things worse by over-reacting. The worst advice somebody can give you in these situations is "just stop it already", because you feel pressured to stop NOW but you've gotten no real support out of it, just demands... then all of a sudden you've failed yourself and your friend and things get worse. I didn't really start this post with any plans on how to end it... that was a stupid mistake, as above, I've just trailed on from one thing to the next... horrible paragraph structure D: to sum it up - A hobby that I could really commit time to, see improvement and congratulate myself on obvious achievements REALLY helped me out of depression - Everyone's story is different, one person's reason will be different from the next - Self harm can be done well, it's not something you want to keep up but if you have nowhere else to turn it can be good relief without having to be stupidly dangerous - Other people just can't understand what you're going through until they've been there themselves... even then, everyone's different so it may not even relate there - People don't understand but they panic and try to put an end to things anyway. Things like that can just complicate things
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Date: Wed, Jun 20 2012 01:51:56
Why don't you try pen spinning? It's a nice hobby and not that difficult to pick up. It'll help take your mind and hands off the blade and on a pen. Just make sure the pen isn't sharp...