UPSB v4
Serious Discussion / I need help...
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 12:58:13
Here's the story. I'm not a very good speaker but I'll try my best to explain my situation. I'm the guy who washes the dishes for my family. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. (It's vacation. I don't have school. But my parents say that I should start taking some responsibilities. I'm 13 btw.) But, everytime I wash the dishes after dinner, my dad always advices me to stop watching TV while washing the dishes. The chore takes time to get it done when you do something else. He says that I can really just CONCENTRATE on doing the dishes, then watch TV afterwards. I could just GIVE UP TV for a while, he explains. Everyday, he gets a little angrier. I don't listen and don't follow because, really, I manage. I feel alright with what I'm doing. But today, he got REALLY mad. He says in a really loud voice that I'm not taking his advices, and I don't understand them. I'm really SO FCKIN ANGRY TOO deep inside because, he's kind of like, treating me as a house helper. It's like I'm DEPRIVED of watching TV. I try to explain my side too, that he should trust me, that I can do it like my way, but he's saying that I'm ANSWERING BACK at him. He says I'm disrespectful. He's also connecting the topic to my FUTURE. Like, if I continue the "multitasking" attitude, I won't have a good future. I really don't understand what's the big deal with it. I really need help guys. What do you think about my situation? Any advice on what I should do? If there's a member here in UPSB that is a guidance counselor and helps me, I will give him all my cookies.
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 13:16:38
Night Fury wrote: Here's the story. I'm not a very good speaker but I'll try my best to explain my situation. I'm the guy who washes the dishes for my family. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. (It's vacation. I don't have school. But my parents say that I should start taking some responsibilities. I'm 13 btw.) But, everytime I wash the dishes after dinner, my dad always advices me to stop watching TV while washing the dishes. The chore takes time to get it done when you do something else. He says that I can really just CONCENTRATE on doing the dishes, then watch TV afterwards. I could just GIVE UP TV for a while, he explains. Everyday, he gets a little angrier. I don't listen and don't follow because, really, I manage. I feel alright with what I'm doing. But today, he got REALLY mad. He says in a really loud voice that I'm not taking his advices, and I don't understand them. I'm really SO FCKIN ANGRY TOO deep inside because, he's kind of like, treating me as a house helper. It's like I'm DEPRIVED of watching TV. I try to explain my side too, that he should trust me, that I can do it like my way, but he's saying that I'm ANSWERING BACK at him. He says I'm disrespectful. He's also connecting the topic to my FUTURE. Like, if I continue the "multitasking" attitude, I won't have a good future. I really don't understand what's the big deal with it. I really need help guys. What do you think about my situation? Any advice on what I should do? If there's a member here in UPSB that is a guidance counselor and helps me, I will give him all my cookies.
Do you have anyone close to your family like your cousin, mom or brother? To let that anger go away, just tell them your problems, oh and make sure that they can be trusted. Oh btw, tell your dad that answering back is not bad if you're the one who's right. Stay strong bro! we are always here for you!:console: -
Date: Mon, May 30 2011 13:41:21
listen to music instead...
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 13:52:51
Ask him why he thinks watching TV hinders you from doing the dishes.
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 14:15:21
He just wants you to learn how to focus and do one thing, which imo penspinning teaches you well enough already. You're the one washing the dishes. Turn off the tv, and do a crappy job, but not too crappy (where they yell at you for doing a bad job), just bad enough. Lowering expectations works wonders.
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 23:04:33
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Date: Mon, May 30 2011 23:16:38
give things 100%, listen to your dad and learn to cut out distractions. You need to try his way before you have an argument against him anyway.
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Date: Tue, May 31 2011 01:09:56
nateiskewl wrote: Your dad is right.
tv doesn't really count tho, because you can fully devote to cleaning the dishes and your "tv watching task" is greatly deteriorated, but who cares? it has no importance. -
Date: Tue, May 31 2011 01:29:16
Youre kidding right..? Come on bro..its TV..TV is a leisure activity. You could sacrifice 20 minutes (at most) of TV time, cant you? By taking responsibility, you have to put aside leisure activities and just stop and do what you need to do sometimes. You have to draw a limit. And I know you dont want to hear this; but your dad is 100% correct. He's fed up with telling you, and youre fed up with him telling you. Just listen to him, and he'll stop. /mom
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Date: Thu, Jun 2 2011 20:27:01
Night Fury wrote: Here's the story. I'm not a very good speaker but I'll try my best to explain my situation. I'm the guy who washes the dishes for my family. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. (It's vacation. I don't have school. But my parents say that I should start taking some responsibilities. I'm 13 btw.) But, everytime I wash the dishes after dinner, my dad always advices me to stop watching TV while washing the dishes. The chore takes time to get it done when you do something else. He says that I can really just CONCENTRATE on doing the dishes, then watch TV afterwards. I could just GIVE UP TV for a while, he explains. Everyday, he gets a little angrier. I don't listen and don't follow because, really, I manage. I feel alright with what I'm doing. But today, he got REALLY mad. He says in a really loud voice that I'm not taking his advices, and I don't understand them. I'm really SO FCKIN ANGRY TOO deep inside because, he's kind of like, treating me as a house helper. It's like I'm DEPRIVED of watching TV. I try to explain my side too, that he should trust me, that I can do it like my way, but he's saying that I'm ANSWERING BACK at him. He says I'm disrespectful. He's also connecting the topic to my FUTURE. Like, if I continue the "multitasking" attitude, I won't have a good future. I really don't understand what's the big deal with it. I really need help guys. What do you think about my situation? Any advice on what I should do? If there's a member here in UPSB that is a guidance counselor and helps me, I will give him all my cookies.
This might not be what you want to hear, but I have to agree with your dad in this case. Multitasking won't work well because there is too much focus involved in washing dishes to be able to watch TV simultaneously. You'll be more efficient and do a better job if you do one then the other, plus you'll have more time to watch TV after. -
Date: Thu, Jun 2 2011 20:43:24
Zombo wrote: tv doesn't really count tho, because you can fully devote to cleaning the dishes and your "tv watching task" is greatly deteriorated, but who cares? it has no importance.
if its greatly deteriorated and its causing family problems, why watch it? if no one was complaining then yeah. -
Date: Fri, Jun 3 2011 03:56:15
Awesome wrote: if its greatly deteriorated and its causing family problems, why watch it? if no one was complaining then yeah.
the only reason its causing family problem is because of an unfounded claim that watching tv can deteriorate the task of cleaning dishes. if you can prove that this is not true, there is no problem. -
Date: Fri, Jun 3 2011 03:59:25
Zombo wrote: the only reason its causing family problem is because of an unfounded claim that watching tv can deteriorate the task of cleaning dishes. if you can prove that this is not true, there is no problem.
You can't prove anything at 13 unfortunately. Anything you might say will not be taken seriously because adults are "wiser and more experienced" in life and "know better" even if what you say is legitimate. It's more a matter of control for the parents to some extent imo... getting angry at having no absolute control....... and having the slight notion that dishes will be done faster without TV. -
Date: Mon, Jun 6 2011 15:21:46
Tell your dad that you are getting the job done regardless of the TV. Tell him to stop micro managing you. If he calls you disrespectful, say stop treating me like a slave.
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Date: Thu, Jun 16 2011 15:06:00
Colin wrote: Youre kidding right..? Come on bro..its TV..TV is a leisure activity. You could sacrifice 20 minutes (at most) of TV time, cant you? By taking responsibility, you have to put aside leisure activities and just stop and do what you need to do sometimes. You have to draw a limit. And I know you dont want to hear this; but your dad is 100% correct. He's fed up with telling you, and youre fed up with him telling you. Just listen to him, and he'll stop. /mom
Yeah seriously. This is what I was thinking too. Seems a bit childish imo :/