UPSB v4
Off-topic / Joke of the day :)
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Date: Sun, Apr 24 2011 13:54:18
dunno if upsb had something like this before. I'll start : Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: "You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building- by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window." The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The 2nd Man says: "What are you a nut? There is no way in heck that could happen." 1st Man: "No, it's true let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar. The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." 1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. 2nd Man: "Well what the heck, it works, I'll try it." So he jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.' Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker: "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk."
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Date: Sun, Apr 24 2011 14:24:22
two construction workers are working(obviously) one is up high and needs the hammer(man 1) the other is down low and has the hammer(man 2) theyre too far to hear eachother but the lower one looks up sees the guy making random signs I (points to self) need (begs) hammer (pounding motion) the other sees him and pulls down his pants and starts jacking off. the other, after a few minutes, makes it down to see what the guy was doing. man 1: what were u doing? i asked for the hammer... man 2: i know, i ws trying to tell u i was cuming man 1: :facepalm:
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Date: Sun, Apr 24 2011 14:35:42
loled two hunters went out to a forest for a hunt. They lost their way back to the town, at the night one of them step on an animal trap and get hurt seriously both of them were panic and exhausted. So they decided to stay there for a night, and call for a help tomorrow Suddenly, the one who get injury fainted and stop breathing the other hunter panic and call an emergency numberl.. hunter : "My friend fainted and stop breathing!!Is he...really dead??!! What Should I do?" women : "Calm down sir..at first u must calm down and follow my instruction" hunter : "*breath in...breath out*...okay,now what should I do?!" women : "Now, make sure that your friend is really dead.." "...." "....*silent*..." "..*shotgun's noise..BANG!*..." hunter : "okay...now what?!"
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Date: Sun, Apr 24 2011 16:33:04
What's the difference between falling down from the 2nd and 20th floor? From 2nd floor..you: -silence- AHHH From 20th floor..you: AHHH -silence- get it?
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Date: Tue, Apr 26 2011 14:33:03
The vicar said to the young lad who had one hand in his pocket and a loaf of bread in his other hand "hello young man, I see that you have the staff of life in your hand, and what have you got in the other hand?", to which the young lad replied "a loaf of bread Sir"!
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Date: Wed, Apr 27 2011 08:31:59
lol More blonde jokes!! >3< my fave jokes ever ^_^ no offence any blondes btw ^_^
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Date: Wed, Apr 27 2011 08:55:08
A boy celebrated his birthday recently, and he wanted to know if his family members knew his age. So he asked his father: 'Dad, how old am I?' The father pondered for a moment and replied, 'You're 12, right?' The boy protested: 'No! I'm 11!' Then he went and ask his grandmother: 'Grandma, how old am I?' His grandmother paused for a moment, reached into his pants and felt his balls, then she said: 'You're 11.' The boy, stunned, asked, 'Wow, how did you know that?' She replied: 'I heard you talking to your dad.'
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Date: Wed, Apr 27 2011 09:41:13
[video=youtube;z7GvstxiH-M]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7GvstxiH-M[/video] [video=youtube;jzHBszZn6uo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzHBszZn6uo[/video] [video=youtube;jQ4kL4pI-rY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ4kL4pI-rY[/video] [video=youtube;Zrnd63DAH8o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrnd63DAH8o[/video] My favourite joke videos!