UPSB v4
Spammer's Bin / The Chronicles of the cross: evidence God in fact DOES exist.
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Date: Mon, Jan 10 2011 20:31:13
[SIZE="5"][B]disclaimer: if you are deeply religious and easily offended by religious jokes, I encourage you to leave this page now. If you think you are ready, then proceed[/B][/SIZE] I was in a really big crossroad of wether post it or not, because 1) Many narrow-minded atheists would not believe the evidence and start trolling , because the truth is too hard to manage. if you are one, then please do the ritual of conversion from satanist to christian (yes it is that powerful, so it sure can convert atheist to religion) tutorial of the ritual here: http://tinyurl.com/5sabnro 2) if there is an evidence of God existing, then everybody converted to christianity would sure have to follow the rules of the bible. And I just cannot imagine KFC not working on sundays, sorry. But now I think me and my testimony is ready to reach the people. So here the story begins. I love astronomy and I love the night sky. I just melt upon seeing such view: http://i56.tinypic.com/28223wm.jpg Once observing the night sky, the angel approached and revealed me the view of the sky. In a brix shitting mindfucking way. and THAT'S what I saw. http://i52.tinypic.com/2dl54zb.jpg And then I noticed... that the position of the cross when compared to centaur is pretty damn weird. [B]The god left me a hint using the night sky, that cross is a metaphor for penis[/B] And that's the evidence of God existing. Every man, every woman, every live being was created by the power of the cross, the big symbol of christianity. Therefore, God must exist. Everyone goes to right place after this, everything makes sense. No wonder why so many priests are pedophiles after noticing how they like showing their crosses to little kiddies. And why many people are intuitively against crossing animals. I just still don't get one thing. http://taxikaunas.lt/uploads/images/kryziu%20kalnas.jpg *it is the hill of crosses in Lithuania. According to the legend, Virgin Mary appeared to someone in this place. So many people put their own crosses there, believing their sins will be forgiven.
/end testimony :trollface: *random fact: I want you to pay attention that the constellation of southern cross is right on the milky way, thus explaining why the milky way can be seen in the sky. Also sorry that it's funnier in lithuania and there are more examples. Even the word "Crusade" sounds like "kryžiaus žygis" when translated. And literal translation back to english would sound something like "The march of the cross"Spoiler
Also by this time you should understand the meaning of the ritual of satanist-christian convertion. In case you didn't, here's the explanation: The symbol of satanism is an upside-down cross, and the symbol of christianity is a regular cross. And if 'cross' stands for penis, then erection stands for what?.. -
Date: Mon, Jan 10 2011 20:36:20
just gonna write: "...." now im gonna read it.
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Date: Mon, Jan 10 2011 20:36:56
maybe I should have read the first line that its a joke, thought shit was gonna be real, now im gonna read it though ;)
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Date: Mon, Jan 10 2011 21:51:12
wait...so will i get my virgins?
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Date: Mon, Jan 10 2011 22:00:12
ahahhahahahah^
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Date: Tue, Jan 11 2011 07:25:38
TheAafg wrote: wait...so will i get my virgins?
shure you'll get little virgin boys like Prince or Kirby -
Date: Tue, Jan 11 2011 18:53:42
;(
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Date: Tue, Jan 11 2011 20:51:53
why so serious? ~.~ And no you will not get those virgins, god is against sex After sex you lose your erection, it means you get back to satanism. And that is a no-no.
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Date: Tue, Jan 11 2011 20:53:49
Raem wrote: why so serious? ~.~ And no you will not get those virgins, god is against sex After sex you lose your erection, it means you get back to satanism. And that is a no-no.
lolol -
Date: Tue, Jan 11 2011 21:18:19
so i can have sex as long as i dont lose my erection?
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Date: Wed, Jan 12 2011 00:36:14
tl;dr however I read the spoiler halarious :)
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Date: Wed, Jan 12 2011 09:27:41
ultimate proof for god to be real 1: if it snows in PH 2. if it rains cash 3. if god just revealed himself like a celeb or somethin come down from heaven lol
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Date: Thu, Jan 27 2011 19:49:07
Well the idea of god is a stretch but the word means there is an existence. Not the bible the word God no matter how abstract the idea is the word and the image of what it would look like is there. For instance if I said there was such things as lion/fishes who juggle and gargle peanut butter. You just imagined that image most likely therefore it does exist as an image in your brain but maybe only as such. God could be anything or anybody except Gary Busey thats probably satan. Hope you liked my post.