UPSB v4
Off-topic / Should I confront this person?
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Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 21:50:13
I'm gonna get straight to the point here. I'm a sophomore in high school and one of my old friends has changed. He's the most Conceited person that I know and I'm sure everyone else agrees with me. He plays soccer and tennis with me and he really believes that he is one of the best players out there. Simply put, he isn't. He isn't terrible by any means but anytime you try to help him out or even talk about it he starts bashing you and doing many unnecessary things. He lies to people and tells them he's on varsity when he's usually on the bench for both jv soccer and tennis. He also thinks he is the smartest person in our whole sophomore class. He consistently tells everyone that he is ranked 1 and he isn't. We all know he isn't. Our rank one person is just done with him and so am I since we used to be good friends. He constantly lies about his grades and literally everything you could think of. Last year he lied to me about his biology exam. He told me he got a 91 after I told him the truth and said I got a 90. Then later, after school I was tutoring one of my other friends and I went to go grab scrap paper. I saw that the biology exam we took was there and right next to it was his scantron. He actually failed and got a 56. Also, yesterday I was after-school with some of my close teachers who have practically become my friends. They were checking school records and I asked to look myself up. Then one of them looked up my former friend, the biggest liar in our whole high-school. The teacher wanted to know if our claims of him being a liar are true. It turns out his rank is actually 252 out of 362... He lies to the entire school and tells them that he is ranked 1. Now I have plenty of accounts of him cheating and lying but I don't want to post them, it'll be too long. I'm just conflicted whether I should confront him about his lying problems and how I know his rank isn't what he says it is. That's where I would like some guidance. Do you think I should confront him and try helping? If so, how do you think I should do it? Thanks for reading this long post Lol. I also appreciate any responses. :D
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Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:04:58
I'm not familiar with the us education system, how old are you guys?
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Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:14:45
All you're going to bring him is shame and embarrassment. Why would you even want to do that? That person surely is acting quite wrongly, but it doesn't matter to you. Whatever he says should be of no importance to you; you already know he's a liar. Completely separate yourself from him. If he's truly acting like you describe, then everyone else probably also knows that he's a liar. They're not going to believe him either.
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Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:29:11
Soren wrote: I'm not familiar with the us education system, how old are you guys?
Basically there's elementary school, middle school, high-school and then if you choose you can go to college for your bachelor's and then get your masters degree. We're all 15 turning 16. By the time we graduate high-school we are 18 and legally considered adults. -
Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:32:10
cl3ud.kr wrote: All you're going to bring him is shame and embarrassment. Why would you even want to do that? That person surely is acting quite wrongly, but it doesn't matter to you. Whatever he says should be of no importance to you; you already know he's a liar. Completely separate yourself from him. If he's truly acting like you describe, then everyone else probably also knows that he's a liar. They're not going to believe him either.
Yeah I no longer talk to him or even interact with him anywhere. I just feel bad that he's starting to become an outcast because he lies so much. I want to help him with his problem because he literally won't get anywhere if he keeps this up. It just frightens me how his life will be if he continues his ways. -
Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:39:05
cl3ud.kr wrote: All you're going to bring him is shame and embarrassment. Why would you even want to do that? That person surely is acting quite wrongly, but it doesn't matter to you. Whatever he says should be of no importance to you; you already know he's a liar. Completely separate yourself from him.
I'm sure he's not gonna publicly calling him out and ostracism is NOT a good approach. Confront him if this is a big issue to you. Judging from this post, it seems that you still care about him. If you really care about him as a friend, try to show that. Better yet, just explicitly say that you care about him. Explain that his behavior and actions are really selfish towards others. In extreme cases, just report this to someone. Remember that you are not trying to condemn him, you are trying to help. -
Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 22:48:21
Having a private conversation with the dude would seem like the way to go. But the way you tell him also matters. You want to tell him that he's a bad person for lying, but at the same time not hurt his feelings by saying so. I don't know how you'll manage that so good luck lol
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Date: Wed, Oct 8 2014 23:38:58
I think it would be best if he was left alone; telling him would make himself feel worse and things might go wrong :/
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 00:01:30
i used to have the exact same problem. id just ignore it and it got to the point where i did not want to near the guy. anyway we fixed that but if i thought of it i wouldve confronted him and told him about it. i hope you do the same.
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 01:16:28
i think you should confront him privately (as most people have said) and no one better to do it than a close friend. i honestly wouldnt worry about if this ruins your friendship with him because it doesnt sound like you wouldnt want to deal with him the way hes acting right now anyways. at the very least, he will think about it... and yeah emphasize that you care about him... good luck!
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 04:46:46
People lie as a means of protecting themselves. Most people don't lie just to hurt others, but others do get hurt in the process. Have you considered that he's protecting himself from something that you as a friend did not?
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 05:20:40
Why would you give a shit? If you aren even friends anymore, which I'm sure no one would want to be friends with one who does the things you describe, then why would you give a shit about him? Just leave him, he can do whatever the hell he wants even if it is being a lying prick, JUST LEAVE HIM
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 06:19:49
Damn get bench on soccer is ok, but tennis? Nigga must be some shit to get bench... Let him lie, then one day somebody will call him out. This is the type of loser that gonna eventually shoot up the entire school. I'd be cautious if I were you.
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 08:20:49
Inb4 his friend sees this thread.
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 08:26:09
You should talk to him privately. He might just end up hurting himself if it goes too far.
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Date: Thu, Oct 9 2014 12:37:49
Show your friend this thread
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Date: Fri, Oct 10 2014 01:08:05
Soren wrote: Show your friend this thread
Nah I don't think he would want to know that I posted this on the Internet. Then he would end up going around the school telling people that I post "lies" about him on the Internet, when it's really the truth. -
Date: Fri, Oct 10 2014 01:12:03
GeeGeeGee wrote: This is the type of loser that gonna eventually shoot up the entire school. I'd be cautious if I were you.
Well let's hope it doesn't result to anything like that. And I want to help him because that's just the way I am. It disappoints me that he lies this much and that he is slowly losing everyone who was friends with him. Hopefully I can talk to him and change him. But we'll see how things go.